I want to tell you everything.
I want to tell you how much you mean to me. How much I think about you.
I want to tell you how you make me feel nervous and irritated and sad and low.
I want to tell you that I want you. I want to grab your attention. I want you to want me.
I want to tell you how sorry I am that I’m not good enough for you. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m just not enough for you.
I want to tell you that to me you are great. I see only the good in you, even though I know there’s a lot of bad.
I want to tell you that I can’t stay mad at you. I should hate you. You’ve put me through a lot. I should never speak to you again.
But I will. If you want me, I’ll be there.
I think you know that though. I think you know you’ve got me wrapped around your finger. That I’d do pretty much anything you ask.
I want to tell you all of this. I really do. But I’m scared.
I’m scared you would think I’m crazy.
I’m scared, no, I know you do not feel the same. I mean, why would you.
You deserve someone much better than me.
What if telling you drives you away? I’d rather have whatever this is than nothing. I’d rather talk to you every now and again than never again. I’d rather me be a last option than not even considered.
I want to tell you everything but I am not strong enough for your response.
I want to tell you everything but I can’t. I’ll cry. I’ll leave things out. I’ll joke. I’ll back out.
I want to tell you everything….
- my needs:
- 1. sleep
- 2. you
- 3. sleep with you
can’t get away from the thought of adding new scars